Today has been another one of those days where I have done nothing but watch Pretty Little Liars and disconnected myself from the world. Sounds pretty boring but I love it. Having the time to be alone and collate thoughts. I find myself continuously finding excuses not to leave the house and to be honest the weather has been my perfect excuse. Although I sit and wish for nothing more than to go outside, breathe the fresh air and want it to absolutely pour it down. Its funny because as much as I love doing absolutely nothing, my boyfriend hates it. Lazing around and doing nothing with his day is never on his agenda, one of the reasons why I admire him so much.
Anyway, spending time alone has helped me a lot recently. Its given me time to think about my future and where I am now and how lucky I really am. I may not think that all the time but sometimes you have to find a way to block out those negative thoughts, whether thats talking or doing things you enjoy. Moving on, so many people have inspired me to reflect on the last few months and actually piece together my flaws and improve them. That probably sounds really deep and all but I am talking about my future. I worry about it 24/7. I keep telling everyone I am having a midlife crisis because I don't know what I wish to do career wise and I am seriously unrealistic. Liam tells me that all the time partly because I am obsessed with the idea of living in Paris with 5 poodles after my tutor planted that vision in my head. I have now decide to be proactive with my life rather than waiting for things to fall into place with the help of other people.
Moving on from my mini midlife crisis... I cannot stress how important it really is just to have those moments, even if it is just a few minutes. I am slowly realising I have pretty much wasted a majority of my summer desperately trying to catch up with PLL and not really doing anything productive with my time. I have since set myself goals. Instead of seeking advice regarding university or my career, I have had the space to do my own research and learn to become more independent, searching for different paths.
This post really isn't serving much of a purpose, its just nice to write I suppose. I guess its kind of like a diary entry?
Brogan. x
I always do this on a Sunday, I waste the whole day and think, what am I actually doing with my life.. Nothing, do something productive! So I always try to get out and about when I can now! Xx
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